How much can you take from one person?

Missing in Action 15 months ago

I feel you on this. I've been married for twelve years. It started out good and I thought he was the one. We had a beautiful child together. This guy was my moon and stars. Then I started noticing his insecurities. He has serious trust issues. Whenever any of my girlfriends came over he had to sit in the room and include himself in our conversations. He wanted to go with me everywhere. When we had sex he had to do what he called the 3-finger test to see if I had been with anyone else. Anyway, long story short, a few years ago my Goddaughter moved in with us. It was a little after my mother-in-law had passed and I was in a deep depression. I began to take medication that calmed me and helped me sleep. Evidently, it helped me sleep a little too well because my husband and my Goddaughter began messing around with each other under my roof, the house that he and I worked so hard for. This went on for two years until one day and think she thought he was going to tell me so she told me first. I was devastated. He had all kinds of excuses like I was there for him when his mom died although, I'm the one who organized the funeral and helped pay funeral costs. I'm not complaining; I loved her. I separated from him. He and I both had someone else in our lives. During the time I was gone he called me all kinds of ugly names. He tried to get my best friend to be in a relationship with him. He tried to turn my son against me. I had a baby by my new friend. He and I didn't work out. Now, I'm back at home with my husband. He wants to work things out but I can't forget what he did to me. Plus he called my newborn a bastard baby. When Christmas and Valentine's Day came he said he forgot to get the baby something. He forgot purposely. I love him, but I'm not in love anymore. I'm tired of him trying to make me feel guilty for the wrong he's done. He created this mess. I just want to run away! Am I wrong for feeling this way?